Make Blog not Love

Yes yes, your vision is not distorted, my blog does have a FAQ or Frequentely Asked Questions if you please, that by the way are usually not really questions asked by real humans, but only made up marketing stuff to explain why a product or a service is such a shitty mess. But not in this case! I swear I did not made any of this up.

What is this blog about?

This blog, well, this blog is about me and things around. I would like to stress out, that I do not like people very much (because they smoke, take drugs and are mostly unreliable), so you will probably not read much good about them. Hope that this fact will not make you unhappy or something.

Why “Make Blog not Love” title?

That is a very good question indeed (I know I know, the last time someone used this word for real was Shakespeare still alive, but it just sounds so incredibly great!). So again, why the title – this will be actually explained in one of the future posts, so stay tuned. Btw. it should not take so long time as in the case of How I met your mother tv show where quest to answer the basic question from its title takes like… forever. But luckily my title lacks question mark, so you should be safe anyway.

Is this blog written by a real person?

Define real! The last time I checked I was only flesh and blood, so in a way, yes. But there are moments in my life, when I do not feel that way. It’s probably how internet explorer or safari must feel among the others – you know, there are days when it starts looking good and then they publish a new version, that completely make them unreal.

Can I contact you via an instant messaging service, like ICQ, Google Talk, AOL IM, MSN Messenger, Skype, Yahoo Messenger, Jabber, AIM, eBuddy, Gadu-Gadu, IMVU, XMPP, Mail.ru Agent, Meebo, MXit, PalTalk, PSYC or Tencent QQ?

Yes, yes, definitely you can contact me via instant messaging service! At least you can try.

What languages do you speak?

To shortly answer your question: I rather not say. You see – I once told a woman the number of languages I can speak (because she asked me) and for some reason she despised me ever since saying that I should not brag about my language skills, as some people only speak one (read: 1) language!

Can you believe it? And she asked first! Maybe it’s one of those questions women ask and which you should answer without any sign of hesitation or thinking (e.g. Do you think I am fat, honey? Definitely not!) even though it might not be completely true but to keep some sanity and to avoid her going anorexic or the other thing, it’s better to stay focused and, well, lie (and I mean the noun, not the verb).

What nationality are you?

I am czech, which means I come from czech republic. And be sure that I am totally not proud of that fact.

Your English sucks! You suck!

Same does Paris Hilton and I guess it does not bother you that much in her case!

Seriously, your English really sucks!

Well, that is because people are not sending me any money for my education! Feel free to financially contribute and then you will see the bloody fast improvement!

Where do you work?

I definitely do not work. I suffer to make other human creatures stinkin’ rich.

What are your favourite words?

That would be topsy turvy of course and widgets. Both pronounced with a real english accent.

What does the term “Graphomaniac” means?

Ah well, that is sort of a disease. But you see, a completely healthy person does not even exist – there are only inadequately examined ones. Ehm.

Is this the really last question of the Frequently Asked Questions?

Indeed it is!